Let me start off by saying two things. First, I’ve been on both sides of this issue. You’ll hear my story in a minute. Stay tuned. Second, I don’t judge anyone for smoking weed. I have friends and family members who do. I live in a beach-side party town in California, so around every corner I can smell it on the breeze. It’s everywhere, and that’s fine. I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m here to tell you what works for me.
Lots of people are able to smoke weed daily, and still lead productive lives. I am not one of them. I was a daily smoker for a long time. And during that time, I didn’t do much. I kept living the same life, not being happy, but not finding the motivation to actually do anything about it. I’d just come home from work, light up, eat some fast food, and forget all about the parts of my life I was unhappy with. I had convinced myself that I could get high and relax, but still get stuff done the rest of the day. Eventually, I figured out that that wasn’t the case, and I quit. Here is why.
I couldn’t think as clearly
It didn’t happen right away when I started smoking. It kind of snuck up on me. After I’d been a regular smoker for a long time, I started to notice that I never fully “bounced back” from my high. Even though I smoked almost exclusively at night, I would find myself waking up the next morning a little groggy. That’s normal. Except it never really went away. I’d go through the day just a little bit slower mentally. I’d constantly be in a haze. It wasn’t always noticeable, but it was always there.
And my memory got worse. I would have more and more trouble remembering things. Yeah, things I’d done and movies I’d seen when I was high had almost no chance. And I get that. That’s to be expected. I’ve seen probably dozens of movies that I couldn’t tell you a thing about because I was pretty baked when I saw them. But it wasn’t just that. It was everything. I noticed that at work I’d struggle to answer basic questions when customers asked them. The answers would be there, but I had to fight to get them out of my brain and put them into words.
By the time you’re reading this post, I will have been drug free for a little over three weeks. I know it’s not long enough to brag about. But it’s definitely long enough that I’m starting to come out of it. I’m able to think more clearly. I’m able to sit down and focus and write a blog post. And that’s good enough for me.
It made me less social
When I smoked, I’d be off in my own little world. It made me more of a loner. I’m an introvert, and sometimes interacting with people takes effort for me. When I was high, it would get so much worse. That started to carry over into everything. It affected me at work. I work in sales. I help customers all day. When I don’t want to deal with people, my paycheck suffers. And the customer service isn’t as good. It’s a lose-lose.
Worst of all, it affected me at home. This next part, I’m not really proud of. It’s a little hard to admit. But if I’m not honest, then my writing is meaningless. So here it is. There were times when I would get home with a bag of food and walk by my dad on the porch hoping that he wouldn’t notice me so I could smoke a bowl and pig out in my room alone with some Netflix on. FUCK that. Excuse the language, but that’s ridiculous. I love my dad. He’s one of the most important people in my life. Since I’ve quit smoking, I’ve been going out of my way to talk to him more. And I love the conversations we have. And that alone is reason enough for me to never smoke again.
It completely ruined my appetite
If you read my last post, you know that I lift weights. And if you know me in real life, you know that I’m always trying to get bigger. If you didn’t know those things, now you do. In order for me to gain weight, I have to work really hard. I have to make sure that I eat often, and eat a lot. More than my body naturally wants to.
As a smoker, I eventually developed a dependence on weed to even get hungry. I would go most of the day without eating. Then I’d get home, get high, and eat a lot to try to make up for it. Except lots of it would be sugar. I’d get a burger and fries, with a shake and a dessert. And then I’d walk down to the store on the corner later for a candy bar and a soda. Maybe some chips. I figured that calories were calories and I would worry about cutting fat later. After I’d gained a substantial amount. It was an excuse.
Now, I actually get hungry on my own. Especially when I hit the gym. I’ll come out after a lift ravenous a lot of the time. I don’t have to force feed myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still have to put effort into making sure I eat enough. But it’s less of a chore.
So I’m done
Like I said, I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’ve been drug free for a little over three weeks, and it’s been working for me. I’m going to keep it up. If you decide to follow me in this, more power to you. If you don’t, that’s fine too. We can still be friends, I promise.
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